PHS: Question #3

Write about your mom. What would you want people to know?

I remember when I was about to move to Memphis, all hell was breaking loose. It seemed like life as I knew it was falling apart.

And I was at a crossroads.

I could leave or I could decide to stay.

I was scared, I was fed up, and I was confused. If I stayed, would I regret it? If I left, would I be abandoning my family?

I think I was in my room, weighing my decisions and their consequences. One parent wanted me to stay. The other?

The other walked into my room, kneeled beside my crumpled figure offering a hug, and told me to, “Go.”

Not out of anger, not to push me away, but only to encourage me. She said, “Go...if it doesn't work, you can always come home.”

It was with her reassurance, I packed up what made up my little life into my old Sebring, and started the drive toward Memphis.

My life didn't turn out how I planned it. It turned out much, much better. And my mom had a hand in this beautiful life I have now—I found God because I moved here, I have a job and work at a place I love because I moved here, and I have a husband I adore because I moved here. And I had the courage to move, because she supported me.

It's because of her support that I was brave enough to venture out on my own and create a new life two-thousand miles away in a new world. Little did I know that 10 years later the woman who gave me life and changed my life, by saying the right thing at the right time, would sacrifice her life in Stockton—the only life she’d ever known—to trust me and to join me in the life I’ve made for myself here.

In 2016, my parents bought a house, sold their house, and trekked across country to a home right down the street from ours.

And I love it.

I love that we get a second chance to love each other and live life with each other. And I'm so thankful for her encouragement and how she has always striven for a better life, giving her that perspective and ammunition to chase after answers for the "what if's".

Special things I'll remember:

• All my classmates in grade school always told me, "Your mom is so pretty!" when she would pick me up from school. And I'd smile, because she was definitely a pretty mom.
• She had a purple B.U.M. shirt that she loved and always wore until she didn't. And then I "borrowed" it from her. Whenever I see that certain color of fuchsia now, it always reminds me of her and that shirt/
• She also had a mocha color hoodie pullover. Any time I see mocha anything I think of her.
• She is a hard worker, and she is good at saving money. Like, way good. In secret places and accounts for rainy days. We were never wealthy growing up, but because my parents knew how to budget and save, we had what we needed when we needed it and did get to do cool things like spring vacations to Disneyland.

Destination: Chattanooga

Last Friday T, me and our friends packed up, packed into a car, and headed east toward the mountains.

My first meal of the day was my first ever chicken biscuit from Bojangles. Bojangles is not in Memphis anymore and the closest one is near Nashville. We stopped in Dickson, TN. I loved making this memory, because this is a place that holds some sweet nostalgia for T. When he was young, maybe second or third grade, his mom would get him a biscuit every day before school. Also, a little known fun fact about T, a Bojangles biscuit is the first meal he was able to eat after his throat procedure in 2014.

It was late afternoon when we arrived at our adorable Airbnb on Isbill Road. It was about 10-15 minutes away from downtown Chattanooga, and it offered a spacious porch for peaceful mountain-viewing, a pull out sofa bed for comfortable Netflixing, and a mystery door that was locked, preventing us from ever learning what was behind it. (Probably better that way, it seemed to lead to the basement, and basements are scary.) We stopped to take in the view and take some pictures before heading to dinner.

We decided to eat at Urban Stack, where I chomped down an Asian Q burger made with American Kobe-Style Wagyo Beef with wasabi savory slaw, Asian ginger barbecue sauce, homemade cucumber kimchee and a five pepper dry rub, and topped it off with an orange creamsicle shake. We headed home with full stomachs, curled up on the pretty blue couches and watched Dr. Strange and some comedy shows before calling it a night.

The next morning was slow. T and I slept in longer than we expected and he made coffee for us. After indulging in some much needed caffeine, much to my happiness, we decided on Milk & Honey for breakfast. I absolutely love, love, love Milk & Honey. I ordered their KY Nova Lox Bagel. Shuckman's Smoked Salmon, a toasted bagel, plain cream cheese, red onion, capers, sliced tomato and fresh dill—of course it was just as amazing as it had been on my last visit.

I love being touristy and was so happy when we decided to visit Ruby Falls. It's one of the deepest commercial caves at 1,120 feet underground. It was beautiful. For me, it was totally worth seeing even though we were in front of the actual waterfall for only about 5 minutes. T said it reminds him of the scene in The Goonies where the kids find One Eyed Willie's ship in the cave, and I'd agree. It was very majestic and awe-inspiring.

Ice cream was on the agenda next and of the places we could choose from, we fought for parking to snack at Clumpies. This ice cream place was opened in 1999 by the son of a third generation candy maker. Not to mention I really like their mission statement—give every person that walks through their doors the best ice cream they can and an even better experience. Simple, but important. I got a waffle cone with 2 scoops of chocolate and T got a pistachio shake. His shake was so good that if we ever go back, that's what I'd get, because it had what we think were pistachio brittle chunks in it.

We ate at Il Primo for dinner and. It. Was. Amazing. Uh. Mazing. For appetizers, we got burrata with blistered tomatoes and piled it onto perfect slices of garlic crostini. We also enjoyed a five-selection meat and cheese plate with Taleggio, Ubriaco del Piave, Grana Padano and Sopressata and Prosciutto di Parma. If one could be in love with food, I was in love. Head over heels. For my entree, I ordered rigatoni al’arrabbiata with sausage and it was just as good as the appetizers. And definitely worthy of mention is the focaccia bread, soft, crispy and seasoned just right.

Somehow we still had room for dessert afterwards and went for a second trip to Milk & Honey where we got milk and honey gelato. It was perfect. I have no pictures of that, because I was too busy enjoying it!

We slept off our food comas and woke up the next morning for—believe it or not—breakfast at Milk & Honey. T got the hot mess breakfast—so good! It was an open faced buttermilk biscuit, hot pepper jam, bacon, avocado, escabeche, chipotle cream, pepper jack cheese and a poached egg. I ordered the lox again, a vanilla latte and the group enjoyed a croissant and a homemade pop tart. We sat outside enjoying the sun that finally decided to shine down on us after two days and spontaneously decided to drive up Lookout Mountain to experience the view.

I think I'll always remember the feel of the breeze as we drove to our destination. We found Point Park, a ten acre memorial park that overlooks the Lookout Mountain Battlefield and the city of Chattanooga. We did have to pay for admission, just like Ruby Falls, but it was totally worth it. We walked the paved path around the park and were just enamored with the view.

I used to be a beach girl, but Tennessee sure has changed me. There's something about the mountains that just takes my breath away. Maybe it's just the sight of them or how easy it is to get lost in the serenity and peace even in spite of people around you—whatever it is, it has my heart looking forward to whenever we visit Chattanooga next.

PHS: Question #2

When and where were you born?

I was born 32 years ago at 7:36 am in Stockton, California. I searched for what it means to be born in my time frame and worldofmoms.com says this:

• 4 am to 8 am:
• Early morning babies or babies born between 4 am and 8 am grow up to be persistent by nature. They are generally intelligent and are always prepared for different situations that they might face. Their persistence will also contribute to their success as they will invest effort consistently till they achieve their dreams!
• 4 am. to 6 am: If your baby was born at in this time frame, he might grow up to be a romantic! He may be perceived by others as a 'strong personality' as a result of his stubbornness. However, he will need to learn to stand up for himself.
• 6 am. to 8 am: You have a natural leader at hand if your baby was born this early in the morning. He will be able to do well in most artistic fields though he will demand a lot from himself.

Now I know that there's no science behind this, but c'mon, this is me. I don't know about the natural leader part (I'm working on it), but others have told me that I can lead even though that role doesn't feel natural to me yet. I think (and hope) it will come. I'm reading, I'm living out moments of it in my day to day, I listen to the Manager Tools podcast, which I absolutely love. I feel like Michael Auzenne and Mark Horstman are like my older brothers/dad figures speaking truth about professional life. I honestly think this podcast is great for anyone wanting to improve in their professional life, not just managers.

For the last part of the statement, about doing well in artistic fields and demanding a lot from myself, yes and yes. Art is my outlet, being creative and doing creative things is good for my soul. Which is a good balance for me demanding so much from myself. In the past this has made me feel like a failure, when I demand so much and don't deliver, but listening to Brene Brown (yaaaaaas, I love her) and knowing the difference between shame (I am bad) and guilt (I did something bad), I'm learning to focus on behavior and not cut myself down.

January Intentions Recap

It's time for a recap! Looking back at last month and how I did with my January intentions. Read more about them here.

Scoring:
(+) Did Well
(-) Could have done more
(+/-) Inbetween

(+/-) Make listening more important than speaking.
Sometimes I was good about taking a step back and listening to the other person, but this one was probably the biggest struggle for me this month. I still am not aware enough to always catch myself when I'm taking over the conversation, and this can result in me being off putting. I definitely intend to keep working on this one!

(+) Take care of myself and don't feel guilty about it.
I had a day by myself at the movies, which was so amazing. I went shopping and got a candle. I've been taking in moments, which looks like me pausing with my eyes closed and just taking a deep breath. This was great, especially if I had a candle or some essential oils going. I did my nails, and I made sure to relax in ways that I wanted to relax, which meant if I wanted to watch Fuller House, then I watched Fuller House.

(+) Reflect on my accomplishments.
I'm humble to the point it's crippling. At this point I don't even think humble is the word to describe it. I have so little faith in myself I don't claim that even the stuff I do right is stuff I did right, but it just so happened to work out. I don't know why this is in me, that I can't accept a job well done, like I'm undeserving of anything. So the moments where I took time to say "Yay me!" were really important.

(+/-) Keep a clean home for my sake and for my husband.
This was an in between. Some parts of the house I was able to keep clean, but it's always our bedroom that winds up a mess. Between dirty and clean clothes, I am just too tired and drained by the end of the day during the weekdays and they just pile up. Which means we go the whole week with clothes at the end of our bed on the ottoman until I have the energy to do them over the weekend. Oh well. Still purging our closets, which will mean less clothes, less laundry (one day!).

(-) Put down the phone during quality time—unplug!
Mostly a failure, but I had a hard time with this one. At the end of the day, T and I wind up on the couch watching TV. He wants me to be focused on the show, but the evening is the only time I have to play on my phone. So, it kind of split- sometimes I chose to decompress via internet (checking mail, shopping, looking at Social Media) and sometimes I chose to disconnect and snuggle up for a good movie.

(+/-) Stay motivated for Italy—exercise!
Oooh, another hard one, because I exercised more than I would have had I not had this goal, but I also didn't exercise as much as I anticipated I would. At this point we have about two months before our trip and I'm a little scared we won't be physically ready.